I'm BACK !

heyho people !

long time no see.. haha.

yeah, gw rasa mood gw buat ngeblog udah balik..
ehm. mungkin cuma bwt hari ini..
tapi gw harap masih bisa rutin . :D

okay,sbenarnya gw sedikit terlalu bersemangat buat nulis blog kali ini..
why?
karena hari ini gw baru aja menyadari klo I have a Competitor !
yeeahh..

Sedikit membingungkan memang..
secara gw gak ikut lomba apa2.
hehehe..

competitor yg gw maksud itu adalah seseorang yang gw PRIBADI rasa ingin bisa atau pengen jadi lebih dari .....
okay. titik2nya bisa banyak..
hehehe..

hmmm..
sebenarnya gw bukan tipe orang yg suka bersaing..
cuma kalo dengan dy, why not?

Dy memang gak secara langsung menantang atau semacamnya..
*ini bukan masalah berantem atau semacamnya*
Tapi ini mengenai Goal yg mao gw dan gw yakin DY ingin capai juga..

Kenapa gw bisa jadi semangat sedangkan gw barusan bilang kalo sebenarnya gw bukan tipe yang suka bersaing?

Honestly,
Keinginan dy yang ternyata sama dengan gw ini ternyata membuat gw terpancing bwt SEMANGAT!

yeah.. meskipun bberapa kali dy memang membuat statement yang secara gak langsung mengatakan kalo dy lah yg akan berhasil..

But, geezz..
U makes me on fire u know?
hahaha..
thanks to you !
:D

Okay,untuk kesekian kalinya gw jelaskan disini..
Tidak ada kompetisi yang tidak sehat antara gw dan dy..
BAHKAN, kompetisi ini hanya GW yang menyelenggarakan..
Dy mungkin udah mulai ini dari awal..
Who knows?
haha..

Tapi yang terpenting adalah kompetisi ini gw buat hanya untuk gw dan untuk diri gw sendiri..

Gw gak peduli dengan siapa yang akan menantang gw dan omongan2 lainnya yang terkesan menjatuhkan mental..

Musuh terbesar gw adalah DIRI gw SENDIRI...

Gak ada lagi musuh lain yang membuat gw bisa ngingkarin target gw sendiri kecuali ya diri sendiri..

yeah...
udah beberapa kali or bahkan mungkin malah sering target gw gagal total gara2 keegoisan diri..

Bicara tentang TARGET..
Harus gw akui kalo baru2 ini gw sadar kalo gw merupakan manusia yang BUTUH target buat ngejalanin hidup..

Dulu mungkin gw bingung dengan apa itu target..
Tapi ..
Hey ! ternyata dari dulu gw punya target ! haha..
Well, i don't want to share IT here ..


Dan..
As usual..
Dengan banyaknya target yang gw buat , sering juga target2 itu terlupakan begitu saja atau dengan gampangnya target2 itu tergantikan dengan target baru lainnya..

Yah, dengan embel2 : kyknya target yang ini lebih mungkin deh..

People, if u ever think the same like me..
Lets make a toss* ! hahahaha..

:))

But,
gw realize kalo gw kyk gini terus, mao jadi apa euy?

pembuat target sekaligus penghancur target?

haiyahh..

Let's Make a Target !

and

Let's Make it REAL !

*TOSS

Salah satu target abadi gw cuma 1..

Buat Orang Tua gw bangga..
yeah..
I bet u guys bakal senyum sinis..
hahaha..

dan i bet you too...
that somewhere in your heart would say : yes ! me too !
hahaha..

okay.
mungkin kalian pikir gw terlalu pede..
but, think again..
and READ again !

This is not a COMIC,okay?

BACK to TOPIC !

yeah..
buat capai target abadi gw ini memang gak gampang, dan gak ada hasil pasti yang buat lu bisa bilang : akhirnya gw berhasil..!

People, Untuk bwt ortu bangga, gak hanya dengan nilai gede, gaji gede, biayain ortu,beli rumah, nemenin tiap hari..

Menurut gw PRIBADI, untuk bwt ortu bangga cuma dengan satu cara...
Kita,anaknya hidup bahagia, berhasil mencapai mimpi2 kita..

thats it !

Karena gak ada lagi yang bisa buat mereka bahagia n bangga kecuali anaknya hidup seneng dan sukses.

SEKALI LAGI !
they dont need your money !!
okay???

And for you people !
kalo lu perna berpikir bwt MASUKKIN ortu lu ke panti jompo atau semacamnya,
I just want you to think A HUNDRED of times !

Coba posisikan lu di sisi ortu lu..
Mao masuk panti jompo?

ok..
mungkin sekali lagi gw kepancing emosi..

Gw emang gak pernah berhasil ngontrol emosi kalo menyangkut keluarga.

:D

Again, people.
Ada 1 hal lagi yang bwt idup gw complicated sekarang2 ini..

guess what?
n i bet you guys EVER feel the same ~
haha..

MY AGE !
oh my God !

Next year i'll be 20 years old !
TWENTY !
oh deaaarr~

no no..
Dont u ever think tat i'm afraid of getting older !
NO !

Yang gw takutin just 1 simple statement ..

WHAT SHOULD I DO WHEN I'M 20?

Yeah..
Gw masih childish, masih egois, masih suka mengabaikan target, masi suka emosian, dll.

OH geez !
i'm TOTALY PANIC !
you might be think tat i'm crazy.
Its okay people..

Just look at the "pojok kanan atas" ,than.. click !
hahaha.

no no.. wait !
i'm kiddin.. :D

Hmm..
Gw lupa mao nulis apa..

hahaha..

Okehh..
Mengenai ketakutan gw akan angka 20..
tampaknya gw harus buat semacam WHAT SHOULD I DO list from now !

Okay..
lets say..

Hal pertama yang bakal gw lakuin adalah...
NGONTROL EMOSI!

Gosh, masi suka marah2 gak jelas n nangis2 gak karuan !
Xiu, GROW UP !

Hal kedua yang bakal gw lakuin adalah...
Rewrite my TARGET and DO IT !

Hal ketiga yang bakal gw lakuin adalah...
SMILE!

haha.
Weird?
i feel the same.

But why?

Kenapa gw pilih SMILE sebagai hal ketiga yang harus gw lakuin, karenaaa...
Gw gak mao jadi cewe mellow lagi.

HEY !
i'm Phlegmatis Girl.. !
:D

Ngaku deh..
Sering banget gw mellow..
Bahkan isi blog gw sebagian besar mellow2an semuaa..
GEEZ!

(:

Yeah.. Yeah..
I bet some of you would say : HOW COME?

i'm a bit worried about it too !
hahahaahaha.
But chill..

It's Ancilla Felisia's Blog , Right?

(You answer it ! )

(:


cheers,

I miss h** voice. .

i'm just...




missing you..




can i hear it once more?

Our Story...

Last weekend,

I just hv a very wonderful weekend with my best friends forever named,

KAMISU KAMAKAN

(:



We just spend our time together and throw away our task @college for a while..

sooo relaxxx...

we laugh,



we hv a heart to heart conversation,

we take SOME pictures,





we eat together,




n

this is especially for me...

I am so touching bcoz of them..

thanks all for the SUDDENLY SURPRISE. !




My new Garfield ! (:


My birthday, even it's already past for a long long time ago,

they still remember it and gv me the best beautiful word that i ever heard..


"A real friend, will.... stand by you, even when you are wrong... (:"


it's sooo niceee,guyss...



it makes me fall in love with you more n more than u can ever imagine.. (:



Thanks God for giving me the best

'Friends n SIBLINGS'

in the world !


We..

Kamisu Kamakan..

will never be replace...

because..


WE are ONE.

(:





I LOVE YOU, KAMISU KAMAKAN !!

Wonderful Life !

TODAY !
is
My DAY !

Oh God, I'm so Happy today !

Back to my Lovely Hometown, and...
Today is...

MY BIRTHDAY !

can't describe how it feels..

receive many greetingss...
aaaa..

love ya , Guyss.. (:

cannot talk too much right noww..
i'm too excited to write how it feels..
hahaha..

i'll tell u later..

mmm..
i'm just.. HAPPY !
hahahaa..

again...

TODAY

is

MY DAY !

Decision. (:

GOODBYE DAYS

That’s why now
I’m coming to meet u
That’s what I’ve decided

The song in my pocket
I want to let you listen to it
Raising the soft volume
To make sure it’s just right

Oh Goodbye days, now
I know things are going to change
Until Yesterday, so long
Unstylishly but staying gently
By my side, that’s why
la la la la la with u

Passing you
One side of my earphone
Slowly, in that moment
When the music starts flowing
Do I have the ability to love u properly?
But sometimes I’ll get lost

Oh, Goodbye days, now
It’s beginning to change
But deep inside my heart it’s alright
Unstylishly but staying gently
By my side, that’s why
la la la la la with u

If I could
I dont want to think
About the sadness
But you’ll definitely turn up, wont u?
At this time, with a smile

Yeah, hello my friend,
How shall I say this?
It’s fine even if i say it out loud?

When I’m humming the same song
I wish I was by your side
I’m glad I met your
Uncool brand of kindness
la la la la la Goodbye Days

=============

Dear everyone,

Di blog kali ini, mungkin gw mao share sedikit apa yang gw rasain sekarang..

hemm.

gak tau kenapa nih, belakangan ini, perasaan gw complicated banget..

gw ngerasa seneng, di saat gw juga lagi ngerasa mellow..

banyak banget yang buat gw jadi terlalu "mikir"..

Salah satu faktornya mgkn dukungan yang gw dapet selama ini..

Seperti yang pernah gw ceritain di blog gw yang lalu., gw memang lagi keilangan dukungan dari orang terpenting dalem hidup gw..

Mungkin dy gx ngmg secara lgsg, but gw bisa ngerasain beratnya koq..

Gw, masi sama kayak cerita2 gw di blog2 lalu..

gw masi kangen sama masa lalu gw..

apapun itu...

gw kangen sama apa aja yang pernah gw lewatin sampe sejauh ini..

gw kangen sama masa2 gw yang lagi bener2 labil..

aneh memang, tapi gw pengen sekali lagi ngalamin masa2 itu..

hemm..

apalagi masa terberat gw disaat gw keilangan org yg pernah ada di hari2 gw..

mgkn kedengerannya gila..

tapi gw memang bener2 pengen..

gw pengen taw, udah seberapa kuat sih gw skrg ini?

apa gw masi sama aja kayak dulu?

punya topeng setebel baja bwt nutupin apa yang gw rasain sebenernya?

apa gw emang udah bener2 tough skrg?

oughh..

gw bener2 pengen taw apa sih yang uda gw dapet dari masa2 tersulit gw itu?

Karena jujur, yg gw dapet skrg..

cuma ketakutan gak jelas bwt memulai sesuatu yg baru..

cuma ketakutan gak jelas bwt jatuh sekali lagi..

cuma ketakutan gak jelas bwt nerima kenyataan sekali lagi seandainya kejadian terburuk itu keulang lagi..

Gw gak mao..

gw gak mao jadi manusia yang gx pny hati..

yang nutup hatinya rapet2 bwt org luar..

tapi gw masi belum cukup kuat bwt bangkit lagi..

gw belum punya cukup senjata bwt berdiri seandainya gw jatuh lagi..

Konyol memang..

selalu berharap terlalu banyak terhadap suatu hubungan..

tapi itulah gw..

I have my own decision..

i wanna be alone for a long time...

i wanna be alone until i wanna open my heart again..

i wanna be alone until i'm tired..

Yes.

This is my decision.

i wanna be "alone"..

So, GoodBye Days. (:

My Prayer.

HANYA SATU

Hanya satu pintaku
Tuk memandang langit biru
Dalam dekap seorang ibu

Hanya satu pintaku
Tuk bercanda dan tertawa
Di pangkuan seorang ayah

Apabila ini
Hanya sebuah mimpi
Ku selalu berharap
dan tak pernah terbangun


Hanya satu pintaku
Tuk memandang langit biru
Di pangkuan ayah dan ibu

Apabila ini
Hanya sebuah mimpi
Ku selalu berharap
dan tak pernah terbangun

Hanya satu pintaku
Tuk memandang langit biru
Dalam dekap ayah dan ibu

=============


Dear my dearest God,

I pray for my dearest Mom n Dad..



Please protect them from the bad things in life, God..

Please make them always happy..

Please make them always enjoy their life..

Please make them healthy n live with peace..

bcause, i hvn't do anything for them..

i still can't show them all the best from me.

i still can't make them proud of me..

i still can't make them smile when i reach my dreams..

i still can't be my bros n sis tat already make them proud..

i still can't be the one who makes them proud when other people asking them about

their children.

i still do the useless things..

so, God..

Please ..

Give me more time to show them that i love them so much..

Please..

Give me more time to make a smile in their face..

Please..

Give me more time to be their happiness..


Please..


Give me one last chance to live with my Mom n Dad again..
in one lovely House. (:




and..

I have a promises for You, n them..

i won't be a lazy person anymore..

i won't be a selfish person anymore..

i won't be hurt my mom n dad's heart anymore..

i won't forget YOU anymore..

n

i won't love someone when my mon n dad don't love him..







bcause..

the one n only one who will always love me is..
My Mom n Dad..



No one can replace them from my heart..

I just love my Family..

Thanks God for giving me The Best Family in my life..

Papi, Mami, Ko'an, Cika, Kodi..






They complete my life..

and...

Thanks God for giving me The Best Friend in life..

Xin2, Michael, Gez, Mario, Wilton, Anas, Widya, Sheila, Ping2, Yola,

Chica, Chici, Lala, Fenny, Jessy, Devina, Jeanette, Garry, Patrick, Elwin n all of the HIMSISFO

members.., and the others that i can't write one by one..

I love You , God..

forever..

and..

ever. (:

Yesterday.

I know i hv something in my mind.

But, i dunno wad is it..

too much..

hmm..

Maybe , this song can explain it better than me..


YESTERDAY

i just cant believe your gone
still waitin for mornin to come
when i see if the sun will rise, in the way that your by my side
well we got so much in store
tell me what is it im reaching for
when were through building memories ill hold yesterday in my heart
in my heart

they can take tomorrow and the plans we made
they can take the music that we never play
all the broken dreams take everything
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday
they can take the future that we'll never know
they can take the places that we said we will go
all the broken dreams take everything
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday

you always choose to stay
i should be thankful for everyday
heaven knows what the future holds, or least where the story goes
i never believed untill now
i know il see you again im sure

no its not selfish to ask for more
one more night one more day one more smile on your face
but they cant take yesterday

they can take tomorrow and the plans we made
they can take the music that we never play
all the broken dreams take everything
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday
they can take the future that we'll never know
they can take the places that we said we will go
all the broken dreams take everything
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday

i thought our days would last forever
but it wasnt our destiny
cause in my mind we had so much time, but i was so wrong
no i can believe that
i can still find the strengh in the moments we made
im lookin back on yesterday



Miss my past..

yes, i think i miss my past..